Sometimes, when I'm overwhelmed and overcome by everything that's going on, I can do nothing else but turn off the lights, bury my head under a pillow, and cry myself to sleep. Writing this, I feel ridiculous. What 20-something year old girl admits to crying herself to sleep? It's not because I hate my life. Just the opposite. I have my dream job at an amazing organization. I'm almost done with my Master's program and will be graduating debt-free. I live in a cute little apartment and am surrounded by wonderful, genuine people who love me and look out for my well-being on a daily basis. But sometimes, amidst all these beautiful things, I focus on the things that are not in my life. The desires that I know have been planted in my heart by God, just as He planted my desire to live on the East Coast years ago. Knowing that God has brought those initial desires to fruition gives me hope for the future, but often times, it is so easy to become discouraged when comparing my life to those around me. When I see friends getting engaged, married, and having babies, my heart feels torn in two - so thrilled for the amazing things happening in their lives, and wonderfully amazed at the outpouring of blessings that God continues to bestow on His children, and yet sometimes, incredibly frustrated and impatient with myself at the same time. Wouldn't it be nice though, to have an "off" switch to stop thinking about those things until it was that right time and place and people in my life? Jeremiah 29:11 is hung on a canvas in my family room, and every time I walk through my door, God reminds me: For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Patience is a hard lesson - it feels harder somehow as an adult than it ever did as a child. But in this time of waiting, I know God is growing me, and molding me, and that I still have many lessons to learn.
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I have this tendency of finding a new song, and then becoming completely enamored with it for months at a time, listening to it on repeat, day in and day out. It seems to be that each new song I become obsessed with holds a lesson in it, and I am positive that God knows I am able to hear His still, small voice, the clearest through lyrics of a song, and He has been speaking to me through this song recently. I don't think the lyrics of this song really hit me until I listened to the commentary following the YouTube video (see below), and one of the band members declared that "Christians are often so serious about everything! But, God has called us to be JOYFUL, and to see the world in color and wonder as He has designed!" If you and I, brothers and sisters in Christ, have seen the "wonder in the air of second life (through baptism)", then why are we not shouting to the mountain tops, proclaiming to the world of His great and marvelous love?! It is so easy to become burdened with the negativity surrounding this entire world, with political uncertainty, natural disasters, and the messiness of every day life. But instead of focusing on these things, let us rather marvel at the beauty in the simple things - a baby's giggle, a flower blooming, a sunset over the countryside. Let us "remember His marvelous works that He hath done, His wonders, and the judgments of his mouth;" (Psalms 105:5) and "declare His glory among the heathen, His wonders among all people" (Psalms 96:3). Amen. |
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As a child, my dream was to become an author, perhaps one day I still will. Categories |