Five o'clock could not come fast enough today. After being out of town for a week, and coming back into the office, I was utterly overwhelmed and exhausted. Again. My anxiety was particularly high, and that incessant heartburn was making a comeback. My next counseling session wasn't supposed to be until Friday, but God knew what was up, and my counselor rescheduled last minute. What a mini miracle. God had lots of lessons in store for me in this session, and these lessons came at just the right time. Over the course of the past year, I have learned that I feel everything very deeply, personally, and passionately. I think it's one of those unique traits that identifies me as an INFJ. It is a wonderful thing to feel deeply, personally, and passionately. But, it is also EXHAUSTING, and not a sustainable way of living, especially for someone who works in the nonprofit sector, and is interacting with very emotional people and situations on a daily basis. For so long, I was becoming incredibly dragged down by the weight of my job, and the emotional ties that I felt came along with it. But tonight, my counselor shared with me something that I hope and pray will stick with me, and will change the way I interact with those around me. Empathize without owning. It is not my job, nor your job, to take on the suffering and pain of those around us. Jesus has already done that. Jesus has already born all the heartache, and pain, and brutal suffering that has happened, and ever will happen in this world. Because only He is able to take on that burden. For Jesus said, "29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:29-30). For so long, I equated empathizing with others as taking on their burdens as well. But this is not healthy, this is not sustainable or practical. Instead of taking on the immense suffering, confusion, and heartache that these families are facing when I interact with them, I am to walk alongside them, to uplift, and bring forth truth and let Jesus work through me, as merely a vessel. Because I am just that - a vessel in the hands of the Maker.
My counselor shared that this whole thing, it's going to be a journey. And I am not even the tortoise in the story of the tortoise and the hare. No, I am the slug on the back of the tortoise in this journey. But that is okay. Because I would rather learn how to let go, and learn how to live and love in the way that God wants me to and learn it fully and slowly, than race through with a "band-aid" approach. I pray too, that whatever lessons God has been teaching you, that you would be okay with learning these lessons slowly, and fully, and relish in the journey of the learning through it all. As I drove home, the Lord brought to me lyrics of a hymn, which of course, seems fitting in my need to learn to let go and not try to act on behalf of God. "Is your all on the altar of sacrifice laid? Your heart, does the Spirit control? You can only be blessed, and have peace and sweet rest, as you yield Him your body and soul."
0 Comments
|
Author
As a child, my dream was to become an author, perhaps one day I still will. Categories |